


Complicated

by mew_tsubaki



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Masturbation, Slow Burn, what tf is the diff between that and slw bld anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-08-31 08:00:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8570698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mew_tsubaki/pseuds/mew_tsubaki
Summary: If someone asks him one more time how he feels about Kageyama, Sugawara might just scream. *done for Kagesuga week on tumblr*





	

**Author's Note:**

> The Haikyuu! characters belong to Furudate Haruichi-sensei, not to me. For the prompts "apologize" and "comfort," plus the bonus prompts of "Kageyama's birthday" and "early Christmas surprise." ;] Read, review, and enjoy! *Done for kagesugaweek on tumblr.*

"So…how are things?"

Sugawara gives his best friend a dry look as they stand on the sidelines during practice to grab a drink. "Really, Daichi?"

Sawamura averts his gaze and runs his hand along the back of his head, ruffling his short, dark brown hair. "Well, it's been two weeks since the first years joined…"

Obviously, he's beating around the bush. Not that Sugawara doesn't appreciate the coddling, but he knew this kind of thing was bound to happen. So he feels like tormenting his captain a bit. "And?"

Now it's Sawamura's turn to deliver the dry look. "And, we have a new setter. You aren't thinking you're being replaced, are you?"

Sugawara can't keep his face straight for long. He laughs and claps Daichi on the back, hard and causing the latter to drop his towel. "Oh, for crying out loud, Daichi! I know that!"

"So then how _do_ you feel about the Kageyama situation?"

Ulp. Well. Just as quickly as the laughter bubbles up in his throat, Sugawara chokes it back down. He shrugs and looks out on the court, his eyes scanning over their juniors…yet, when he catches a glimpse of his new, dark-haired rival, he looks away and fiddles with the cap to his water bottle. "It's complicated," he replies. He waits for Daichi to stop eying him unconvincingly before he puts his stuff down and goes back to practice.

* * *

"A new setter, huh?" Azumane prompts as he and Sugawara wait outside the clubroom for Sawamura. He leans against the wall beside the door, and Sugawara leans against the railing across the way from him.

"I don't want to hear a speech from the delinquent member of the club," Sugawara remarks bluntly, hoping to shut things down before they can even start.

The other boy's shoulders sag. "Suga…! 'Delinquent'? Really? That's a bit mean."

"Ah, Asahi…" Sugawara waves it off, hoping to calm his large, softhearted friend down. "Sorry. It's just—you've just returned to us. You've played only a bit with the first years. You really think you've seen enough to comment on things?"

The spiker twists his lips around. "Well, I mean… I've stood on the court with all of you now a few times. I've played with you, against them. And…Nishinoya and I are talking again, so…"

That has to be it. No doubt Nishinoya has been imparting some of his impression of the five newbies to Azumane. Sugawara adjusts his bag on his shoulder and stands up straight, smoothing the back of his school jacket. "It's complicated," he says without much thought. He knows it's an echo of what he told Sawamura weeks ago, but honestly they're the first words that come to mind, and, by offering them up, he doesn't have to think too much about the undesirable situation.

Azumane frowns at his friend's response, but then Sawamura emerges from the clubroom. He looks between the two of them—Azumane, with his mouth hanging open and waiting to say something, and Sugawara, staring Sawamura down and, in a way, daring him to ask about Kageyama yet again.

But Sawamura says nothing, and he leads their descent downstairs. And the walk home is almost like old times, like last year when their team had still been whole and without troubles.

Of course, Sugawara doesn't miss the looks his friends try to exchange covertly over his head, but it's easier to pretend the looks don't occur at all than to call them out on them.

* * *

The morning of the Nekoma practice match, Ukai pulls him aside, looking uncomfortable. "Ah, Sugawara, about what we talked about the other night, before supper…" He shakes his head and bows slightly. "I wanted to make sure you understood that I'm not going to throw you and your skillset away in favor of Kageyama."

"Coach… Really, I get it." It's kind of awkward, having an adult apologize to him. Not to mention that Sugawara recalls how bold he'd been the other night, telling Ukai to make the choice that will always be best for the team.

Ukai looks at him, more carefully than he did before dinner. "I didn't say it before, but I admire your honesty…and your courage in coming to me like that. But, about Kageyama—there's not going to be an issue being on a team with him, is there?"

"It's complicated," Sugawara blurts. But then, acknowledging this is his coach and not his teammates he's talking to, he backpedals. "I mean, no. We'll each carve out our places on the team, independent of each other."

"You don't have to be completely independent, Sugawara. He's still your kouhai. He's still learning. And so are you." Ukai pats his shoulder and turns him around so that they start walking in the direction of the gym. "Just keep an open mind when it comes to dealing with our _younger_ genius setter."

Sugawara catches the implied compliment, so he's a little embarrassed to go out onto the court after the pep talk. But he does his best to appreciate Ukai's words.

It's not that he hates Kageyama or what he represents. Kageyama seems to be a good kid. Even during the Nekoma match, Kageyama grows, even if only a bit. But the fact that he's willing to grow alongside Hinata, his partner, says a lot about Kageyama's character. So it's kind of impossible to hate him.

Kageyama makes it that way, too, after Nekoma leaves and he no longer has the cats' setter to stare down. He sets his sights on the third year. "Sugawara-san, how did I do?"

It's the first time Kageyama has asked for his opinion, and it catches him off-guard. He glances at Kageyama as if he hadn't already been called by name. "Ah…well, you did well."

"Really?" Those blue eyes are earnest and hide no ulterior motives. Frankly, Kageyama probably doesn't even know what ulterior motives are…not that that's a bad thing. And that sort of puts Sugawara at ease.

"Really. You didn't yell at Hinata as much today. In fact, I was impressed by your willingness to work on that improved attack today, since it was such a shock to see him keeping his eyes open this time." As he says all this, Sugawara wants to scold himself. With each word, it's easier to be friendly with him. Sure, he doesn't hate Kageyama, but does he have to be so kind to him?

"Thank you!" Kageyama bows, and it's all Sugawara can do not to reach out and pat him on the head. Truly, the kid's so amusing. Kageyama really does wear his heart on his sleeve.

It's the first time Sugawara has some genuinely benevolent thoughts about his kouhai since the year started…and he's all right with that. Ukai's probably right about keeping an open mind; it'll make things easier from here on out, and maybe Sugawara will have a different answer for the next time he gets asked about the team's current arrangement.

* * *

And Sugawara's right. Before they officially play against Aoba Johsai, he sees Kageyama's nervousness after seeing so many of his former teammates, least of all his mentor, Oikawa Tooru. It's not a very noticeable nervousness, but there's something about how differently Kageyama carries himself onto the court, something about him being too calm, being…well, not _Kageyama_.

Sugawara's not the only one to notice, but he's one of the first. Of course Ukai notes it; even Takeda, who speaks to Sugawara by the bench, does.

"Sugawara-kun…should Kageyama-kun be subbed out…"

He doesn't need to finish his thought. Sugawara understands perfectly. If Kageyama can't handle facing his former teammates, then Sugawara will have the opportunity to play.

Yet…as the game plays out, that thought is the last one on the setter's mind. Even when he _does_ enter the fray to calm Karasuno's pace, Sugawara doesn't think of it as him stepping into Kageyama's place. He also doesn't feel like a placeholder for Kageyama, either. This space… At some point, Sugawara had begun to think of it as shared by him and Kageyama. Maybe it's all the practice the crows get under Ukai's watchful eye at school. Maybe it's because Kageyama is looking less like a rival and more like a puppy to Sugawara. Either way, it's the first time Sugawara realizes he's thinking differently about the younger setter, and he knows that's their starting point. Of what, who knows? But it's a start.

It doesn't make the loss to Seijou hurt any less, but Sugawara understands that adversity is necessary for growth, and he wants to be as open to growth as Kageyama is.

* * *

"Growth" is definitely the name of the game, the third-year setter decides after the Interhigh as summer break arrives.

Kageyama is coming to rely on him more, more than Sugawara thought he was capable of. As the months have gone by, Kageyama's asked Ukai for direction, asked Sawamura for game plans, begrudgingly asked Tsukishima for help (and Sugawara is relieved when Yachi joins the club and Kageyama and Hinata can go to her for study help instead), and asked everyone in some way, shape, or form if he can set better for them. And Sugawara? Kageyama seems to double-check everything with him, tugging politely on his sleeve whenever he has to interrupt or catch Sugawara's attention.

"You do know you don't _have_ to check with me, right?" Sugawara asks him during a quick break at practice. Ukai's had them running drills, so everyone's sweating and breathing a bit hard, and it's one of the few times as of late that doesn't have Kageyama tugging on Sugawara's shirtsleeve.

The younger setter is the first to catch his breath, the first to slow it. "I appreciate your advice," he says in return. His tone is bland, but his expression is sincere.

Sugawara loses himself for a second and then focuses on steadying his breath. His stupid pulse speeds up for a moment, but he finally gets it under control. "That's very flattering…but I don't know everything, you know."

"I know. But you give that impression." Again with the pointblank compliments!

The older boy shakes his head, ready to laugh, because he knows Kageyama does and says a lot without thinking about it, and Sugawara doesn't want to get swept away by him. He opens his mouth to correct the freshman, but he stops when he detects the hint of a frown on that face. Not that Kageyama's smile is anything to look at—not one soul on the Karasuno team has escaped the frightening visage—but a tiny part of Sugawara… Well, he wants to dote on the kid and spoil him, if he's being this cute.

"Oi!" Sawamura calls, catching everyone's attention. Practice is resuming.

Sugawara exchanges a last look with the other setter, and he offers him a smile. "Just keep doing what you're already doing," he tells him, and he wonders to himself if that's advice for in general or an encouragement to keep trotting behind Sugawara as he's been doing.

Either way, Kageyama seems to accept that answer, and practice resumes smoothly.

At the end of the day, Shimizu approaches the vice-captain, and Sugawara doesn't have to look at her to know she's watching him observe Kageyama cooling down. Nevertheless, her quiet voice is soft and somewhat startling as ever: "Kageyama-kun—he's been doing well. You two are getting along well, too?"

As if she can't see that. And yet, this time, Sugawara responds with "It's complicated" with a small smile on his face, and he doesn't feel as antsy to shut down the conversation then and there. Shimizu doesn't continue it anyway, but Sugawara at last feels that maybe, just maybe, things really are better now, and he's not as sure things are as complicated as he keeps telling the others.

* * *

One would think that, with all the questions Kageyama asks of Sugawara, Sugawara's the one doing all the talking. That's not quite the case.

In his own, roundabout way, Kageyama shares bits of himself with his fellow setter. By the time the summer training camp begins, Sugawara knows about Kageyama's favorite foods (pork curry with egg to sate his appetite for spiciness, Baby Castella because of the milky flavors) and favorite magazines ( _Volleyball Weekly_ is better than _Volleyball Monthly_ , because it interviews more players more often). He knows that Kageyama has never thought about having a favorite color or favorite TV show, has gone on trains fewer than ten times in his life so far, and believes that his mother is his best friend. It's precious and, really, with every new thing Sugawara learns about him, it becomes impossible to hate him.

And at least being here at the camp, there are people who can empathize with him. Yaku's got a similar situation to his, what with Shibayama constantly working on honing his own libero skills.

Yaku quirks an eyebrow at Sugawara during lunch on the second day of the camp, though, at the idea. "Really? You _honestly_ think our situations are the same, Suga-kun?" he asks between mouthfuls of onigiri.

Sugawara makes a face at the shorter teen across the table. He doesn't understand why Yaku would use that dry tone of voice. "But they are…? Although yours is the better one, Yaku-san, I'll give you that. You do almost all the playing."

The blond shrugs. "I play, but I play confidently knowing that, should something happen to me, everyone can count on Shibayama." He pauses. "Well, everyone will be able to, when that time comes."

"Ah, don't say stuff like that…! That's like inviting bad luck…" And they laugh and think nothing of it and, for all intents and purposes, drop the subject before lunch ends.

During the camp, Hinata's often off with Kozume and some of the other cats and owls at night, and Kageyama practices more with the crows, tugging on Sugawara's sleeve when he feels like it. It's an action that's almost cozy and makes Sugawara feel needed…and as if they never left the Karasuno gym to start. It makes it easy to forget Yaku's weirdness from the second day, too.

Not until the last day and the fabulous barbeque the faculty throw for everyone does Sugawara start to think differently about his circumstances.

Bokuto, Hinata, and Nishinoya are probably the most vigorous when it comes to grabbing things off the grills, but all athletes present get more than their fill of seared goods, and it's such a party that it's easy to forget all the practice matches played in the past several days—and, in Karasuno's case, all the flying falls perfected.

Most of the teens bop around from group to group, the fraternizing happening as naturally as if the various rivalries don't exist. Sugawara finds himself in Yaku's company again, and they laugh when they see Kageyama stuffing food into his mouth like a chipmunk.

"Oh, for crying out loud…," Sugawara gasps, wiping tears from his eyes. Their laughter pauses when Kageyama starts to choke, and Sugawara's heart jumps into his throat, but luckily Akaashi's close by and passes the food-focused first year a cup of water before he can pass out. Once Kageyama's no longer blue in the face and disappears inside the building—likely to the bathroom—Sugawara puts a hand to his own chest and heaves a relieved sigh. He's irked when Yaku snickers, though.

"Wow. And I thought _I_ was a mother hen," Yaku quips, trying and failing to keep the grin off his face.

"I'm not a mother hen," Sugawara protests, but even he knows how feeble that sounds.

"Oh, yeah? Then what's it like between you and Kageyama—senpai and kouhai? Mentor and mentee?"

"It's complicated," Sugawara gripes, and he doesn't like the weird look Yaku's giving him again, so Sugawara decides he's done eating and disposes of his trash. He heads inside, too, all the while feeling Yaku's cat-like grin on the back of his head. So the setter rolls his eyes and turns his head to make a face at the other third year—and his foot slips.

One second his heart's back in his throat, this time out of concern for his own safety, and, the next second, he's suspended. Not in midair, but mid-fall. Yaku's "Watch out!" registers with Sugawara's ears a full seven seconds after it was yelled, and Kageyama gently albeit worriedly calling his name is what brings the third-year setter back to his senses.

He blinks and looks up into Kageyama's face. Tan eyes lock with dark blue, and Sugawara blinks a few times before he takes in the concern knitted in that furrowed brow and twisted around those lips pressed together so flatly that Kageyama's nearly frowning. As Kageyama rights him on the step below, Sugawara's brain returns. "Ah. Um. Thanks?" Shit. His voice comes out like a broken squeak.

Kageyama gives him a strange look, as if asking if something's wrong. "You lost your footing, Sugawara-san, because you weren't looking forward."

Oh. Right. Of course. He was heading inside, Kageyama must've been coming back out, and, ipso facto, they were about to collide when Sugawara fell backwards and Kageyama caught him. It would be easier for Sugawara to sort his thoughts if Kageyama's hand weren't still on his hip, Kageyama's thumb on his bare skin where his t-shirt must've ridden up just a bit.

"Sugawara-san? You _are_ all right, yes?"

The sandy-haired teen blinks again and nods dumbly, not trusting his voice. "Toilet," he says lamely, his face hot, pointing inside.

Kageyama nods and gets out of the way, and it's as if Kageyama has no clue what just transpired.

Of course, Sugawara thinks as he splashes cold water onto his face, nothing _did_ transpire. But. Well.

Then _why is his heart racing a mile a minute_?

He chocks it up to the adrenaline from having almost fallen, and he likes that, later when they leave, Yaku shows at least _some_ concern for his friend. "So you and Kageyama are okay?"

It's an innocent question, but Sugawara flashes back to their previous conversations, and he garbles out a quick goodbye. All the while, he can feel Yaku's knowing gaze on the back of his head because… Well, Sugawara would be lying if he said he weren't uneasy about the appearance of a better and younger setter on the scene.

But, somehow, in just once moment, things have become a whole hell of a lot more than merely "complicated."

* * *

There's so much that Sugawara tries to block out. After all, it was such a brief moment. Nothing should stick around in his brain, especially not permanently.

But things do.

The warmth of Kageyama's hand.

The softness of the pad of his thumb on Sugawara's hip bone.

How he'd slipped his arm around Sugawara's waist so easily to keep the older boy from crashing to the ground.

His concerned pout (a variation from the pout they usually see at practice when Kageyama's itching to toss the ball around).

How intensely _blue_ his eyes were for a split-second.

These sensations and recollections keep Sugawara wound tight, and sometimes he finds his mind drifting even in class, when the new semester begins. Other times, he feels incredibly jumpy when not within the safety of 3-4, because, outside, the chances of bumping into Kageyama skyrocket.

But it's stupid, and Sugawara kicks himself for his hyperawareness. They're teammates and friends and—well, that's all there is to it. And that thought calms the older setter down some.

Back to their normal practice schedule before the Spring High prelims, Sugawara believes he can go back to normal, too. He can watch from the sidelines. He can give directions. He can deal with Sawamura and Azumane teasing him.

"What a cliché, though, Suga," Sawamura jests between sprints. He tosses Azumane a water bottle before wiping the sweat from his face. "To think you almost did the shoujo manga thing and fell on your ass."

"Oh, yeah? Read a lot of shoujo manga, Daichi?" Sugawara quips, and Azumane snickers with an "Oooh" while Sawamura glares at him. He walks away from them then, and Kageyama trots over to him.

"Everything all right?" No doubt he notices the disgruntled look on Sugawara's face.

"Yeah… Daichi's just teasing me about you catching me that one time. As if I needed to be rescued… Oh, but still—thanks," he adds quickly as an afterthought, because he doesn't want Kageyama to think he's not grateful.

Such a thought doesn't occur to him, though. Instead he says, "It's no problem." He opens and closes his hand a few times, and Sugawara determinedly looks anywhere but at his fingers. "You're very light, though, Sugawara-san."

Crap. Not what Sugawara wants or needs to hear. Still, he laughs loudly to hide his nervousness and changes the subject, asking if Kageyama needs anything, and, even though they're standing face to face, Kageyama tugs lightly on Sugawara's right sleeve anyway.

Internally, Sugawara yelps, but he's as good a senpai as ever and answers questions with the utmost patience.

…or, he _tries_ to be a good senpai.

His thoughts and dreams become riddled with suggestive themes—a mishmash of strong, firm grips on his hips and falling into arms he doesn't expect—to the point where his hyperawareness becomes hypersensitivity and tension builds up until it threatens to bubble over.

"Actually," he says to Nishinoya and Narita during one final practice before prelims start, "I was thinking we might end up using some more of our tempo attacks during—for the love of everything that is volleyball, _what_ , Kageyama?!"

It comes out too perilously close to a snarl, and Sugawara can see from the corner of his eye the two second years blink in stunned silence, but he forces himself to take a calming breath once he's looking at Kageyama.

The taller setter's hand drops from Sugawara's sleeve, and his shoulders sink a fraction. Nishinoya and Narita walk off, leaving the setters alone, and Sugawara just knows that the second years are going to talk, but he thinks the risk of gossip is a much kinder sentence than the defeatist look he's getting from Kageyama right now. "Ah…Kageyama… Sorry, sorry."

Kageyama shakes his head, his hair whipping around softly. "No, it's my fault for bothering you."

Sugawara frowns, not correcting him. Still… Leaving Kageyama like this… Their captain's going to kill him if Kageyama's in no state to play. So Sugawara sighs. "You don't have tug on my sleeve to get my attention," he settles.

"All right." Just like that, Kageyama brightens up, and it throws Sugawara off (and makes his heart pound a _wee_ bit), but it's easier to breathe when Kageyama's happy. He doesn't even bother asking what wheels are churning in the freshman's head.

* * *

What's dangerous are the wheels churning in _Sugawara's_ head.

At first, his head's full of nothing but the usual things: volleyball, school, recalling the feeling of Kageyama's arm around his waist to yank him back, and that reluctant pout only Sugawara has seen a handful of times on his kouhai's face.

But school days and victorious games against Johzenji, Wakunan, Seijou, and Shiratorizawa and practice and cramming all blur together. Kageyama obeys the implied request from his senpai _not_ to come tugging on his sleeve anymore, but, worse, it has to be pointed out to Sugawara how Kageyama's _now_ getting his attention, because Sugawara doesn't notice it as anything of consequence.

"You've got Kageyama tamed," Ennoshita remarks with that friendly laugh of his while Kageyama's away at his elite training camp and Hinata's stowed away to Tsukishima's camp and the rest of Karasuno is relegated to staying at home to work on their skills.

"What do you mean?" Sugawara queries, helping the second year set up while they wait for Ukai and Takeda to arrive.

"You know. He comes and holds your hand to get your attention, like a grade-schooler."

"What?" Sugawara asks incredulously. He shakes his head. "No, he doesn't."

There's mirth in Ennoshita's brown eyes, though. "You don't realize it."

The setter tries long and hard to think on it. Has Kageyama switched from sleeve-tugging to hand-tugging? That must be it. But _holding_ his hand? "Stop joking around, Ennoshita. I'd realize if someone held my _hand_."

Ennoshita gives him a look, akin to "And I thought Tanaka and Noya were the dumb ones." But, out of respect for his senpai, he doesn't say that aloud. "Whatever you say," he opts for instead, and the smirk that follows afterward reminds Sugawara of Yaku's teasing and irritates him, and he feigns innocence when he consistently sets the ball too high for Ennoshita to spike properly for the rest of the day.

But, internally, Sugawara's a right _mess_. Ennoshita's eyes _have_ to be playing a prank on him.

Right?

Still, when Kageyama returns, Sugawara acts as normal but keeps his eyes wide open. It doesn't take long for Kageyama to come tugging on his pinky in the clubroom while Sugawara talks with Sawamura. Inwardly, Sugawara fights down a smile and keeps his attention on Sawamura—and Kageyama doesn't disappoint. He first links his fingers with Sugawara's pinky and ring fingers, but he holds the older boy's hand fully after a full minute of being ignored.

Sugawara's heart leaps around in his chest and his stomach flip-flops so much that it's hard to stand still, but. Huh. So. Ennoshita is right. But that's not important.

What's important is the memorization of this hand in his, because Sugawara loves it far, far too much, and it's a day later when he realizes that he's begun a slow, spiral descent into a personal hell.

* * *

New Year's Day is a day for teenagers with despicably nothing else to do.

This is Sugawara's line of thinking when he wakes up late after a late night before, and the first thing he pictures is the sensation of Kageyama's hand in his. In the dark of his room, with the covers still up over his shoulders, Sugawara grips the sheet and thinks of the warmth that steadily becomes heat, a heat just this side of scalding.

He closes his eyes to the view of his ceiling and rolls onto his right side, drawing the hand up to his chest, the heat too much to bear when it's pressed against his heart. Disgruntled, he fights the impulse for a second before the hand wins and dives south, fiddling with the elastic band closest against the skin of his hip, pushing away the fabric against the heat between his legs and.

_Fuck_. This is where that heat belongs.

With a shudder, Sugawara releases into his hand, and he sighs quietly into his pillow. He pants, hard, until he can steady his breath and clean up, and two feelings wash over him. Guilt, for thinking this way about a kouhai.

Excitement, for Sugawara knows this isn't going to be the last time this happens.

When the school year resumes, Sugawara doesn't think about Kageyama holding _that_ hand. When the Spring High looms before them, Sugawara doesn't think about the couple of times he dares to rest his head on Kageyama's shoulder, memorizing the contours of the other boy's arm, the slope of his neck. When Fukurodani wins against them in the finals, Sugawara doesn't think about the embrace the setters share, tears and all, because this is it, this is where the road ends.

No. Sugawara thinks of all the times he wishes for that hand to be entwined with his even at home. He imagines what it would be like to rest against that arm bare, and he pictures how comfortable he'd be, locked in that embrace, Kageyama asleep beside him, him watching the other boy with a quiet smile on his face.

He thinks, too, about how he'll put all this behind him after graduation.

(That makes it a tad easier to condone all the playing he does at home because, hey, Sugawara Koushi is a healthy eighteen-year-old, thank you very much.)

* * *

He'd thought about how he'd put it all behind him after graduation.

He's wrong.

Maybe it's unhealthy dependence. Maybe Kageyama's gotten used to being coddled by Sugawara. Maybe Kageyama's just…used to getting his way.

But Sugawara doesn't expect that first text the month after the third years leave, most of them university-bound. It's oh so very Kageyama, too:

_-Sugawara-san! Hello! I wanted to ask you something! Also we have a practice game against Nekoma in a month!_

The exclamation marks make Sugawara smile, because Tanaka and Hinata have taught him terrible texting etiquette. But then the texts themselves make his smile waver. How to reply?

_-What's on your mind, Kageyama? c: And I'm glad you guys are keeping the rivalry alive._

There. Polite and noncommittal.

_-What do you think of high-arc tosses! And will you come to our game!_

Oh, hell. Sugawara chews on his bottom lip and draws his legs up under him on the couch at home. He knows his study materials are calling to him because he and Sawamura are aiming for the local university that starts this fall, while Shimizu's already headed out for her spring-start school two towns over. So that's got to be his focus.

But he knows, too, how much he enjoys seeing Kageyama in action, and he knows he misses Kageyama pulling on him to get his attention. And he knows it's bad to starve oneself completely of things that make one happy. So he replies:

_-Um, why do you need such high tosses? And yes. I'll be there. Are the cats coming to visit?_

And, with that, Sugawara wonders as he reads Kageyama's avalanche of excited messages if he's just dug his own hole.

To lessen the severity of his inner turmoil, Sugawara ropes Sawamura into attending the practice match since it is, in fact, a visiting game to Karasuno. And, even after that, Sugawara makes their games more often than not. Sometimes with Sawamura in tow, mostly solo. Occasionally Azumane gets off work and they meet at the game. Takinoue and Shimada welcome him during the tournament games and gladly bestow upon him a housecoat and headband emblazoned with support for Karasuno. Sugawara laughs but doesn't wear them because it's embarrassing as _hell_ —

—and he almost always embarrasses _himself_ whenever Kageyama searches for his face in the crowd. It's so hard to believe that Kageyama can _smile_ and smile like _that_ when his eyes alight on the older setter's face.

And he can hear the smile in Kageyama's voice sometimes, too, when they talk on the phone. In the beginning, their phone conversations almost always start off talking about volleyball. But other times it's food or restaurants Kageyama wants to try; later on, it's Kageyama asking Sugawara about his studies and how he feels about starting university soon and wondering what Sugawara's plans are for the evening—even if they're talking at two a.m. and Kageyama clearly has school in a couple of hours and Sugawara clearly is being a bad influence.

"You know, you don't ask for a lot of advice anymore," Sugawara points out on one of those late nights. Autumn is coming and there's a chill in the air, but he doesn't feel it whenever they're on the phone.

There's a subtle sound like a concealed whisper, and no doubt Kageyama is smiling, perhaps even impishly. "Maybe not. Ennoshita-san joked the other day about me possibly being captain material, but a good grasp of things doesn't make a good captain, not necessarily. Yamaguchi would be a good captain, though," he adds after a thoughtful moment.

Sugawara smiles to himself, too, liking Kageyama's sincerity. Still—"So you know you're not asking for advice anymore, and you know I'll come to all the games. What point is there in talking to a geezer like me?" It's said with a forced laugh, but partly Sugawara worries that Kageyama's run out of use for him, and partly Sugawara hopes to hear something in particular.

"I like talking with you, Suga-san."

The kid does not disappoint. Though it probably slipped out, Kageyama's "Suga-san" kills any dumb joke on the graduate's tongue, and his statement is so honest and easily offered that Sugawara allows himself to have even the tiniest of hopes about the prodigy and so he doesn't bother to correct him. "Me, too," he mumbles at last.

"Goodnight, Suga-san." Kageyama's the first to hang up, but his voice is still low and throaty in Sugawara's ear. It's—well, it's impossible to sleep.

(For the first time, his own touch and wild imagination aren't enough to comfort this disastrous yearning Sugawara has. But that doesn't stop him from trying.)

* * *

Sawamura is tired on the day of the Miyagi finals for the Spring High prelims, and he scolds Sugawara for skipping studying for their psych exam they have later that week—and for waking him up so early to begin with, just so they could come support their former teammates.

"Y'know, it's great and all, seeing how far they've come," he quips quietly after Karasuno takes the first set against Seijou. His eyes sidle to his friend, but Sugawara pointedly looks at the court and not back at his perceptive friend. "Ennoshita's a damn good captain, better than me," Sawamura adds after an odd beat. "…are you going to come to every game next year, too?" he asks upfront but lowly, hoping Sugawara will pay him attention at last.

"What's wrong with that?" Sugawara retorts from where he leans against the railing, his eyes unconsciously following Kageyama's form as the crows switch court sides. His arms are crossed atop the railing, and he's leaning against them, so his mouth is partially covered and all his responses come out slightly muffled by the sleeves of his dark gray duffle coat. (The coat keeps him warm, but probably not as warm as Kageyama's hug would.)

Sawamura sighs behind him and shifts in his seat until he's leaning forward, arms on knees, picking at a stray thread on his corduroys. "So then how _do_ you feel about Kageyama now?"

It's an echo of what he asked Sugawara last year, and it gets the setter to pick his head up and face him. "It's complicated" comes immediately from his mouth, and his face flushes with color, because he doesn't like how they're essentially repeating this conversation.

But Sawamura doesn't look as convinced as he did over a year ago. No, he groans and drags a hand over his face, still so _very_ tired at having to make the trip to Sendai with Sugawara. "It's complicated," he echoes.

"Yes," Sugawara says hotly.

"No. It isn't. Not if you just realize you're in love with him."

Sugawara always thought it'd be more amazing, or fun, or exhilarating or embarrassing or any number of other things, the first time he realized he was in love. But this? Sawamura's plain statement? It feels like—like a slap in the face. As if Sugawara's been told he was wrong all along. He doesn't think this is what people mean when they talk about the "sting of first love"—or, is it? "You're being ridiculous," he blurts, returning his attention to the court as Yahaba is up to serve and the crows prepare their defense.

"No, I'm watching this set and then I'm going home, Suga. Tell me if your boyfriend wins later."

Sawamura Daichi has pissed him off more times than Sugawara can count in the years they've known each other; friends just do that. But it's always the worst when there's even the remotest possibility of the reliable guy being _right_.

* * *

When Sugawara is the only one still faithfully coming around in Kageyama's third and final year, he hates to admit that Sawamura may, in fact, be right. But that doesn't mean that Sugawara has to accept Sawamura's conclusion. At least, not right away.

Because— _love_? Sugawara. And Kageyama? _Love_?

Sugawara dotes on his kouhai, and he knows he likes him—especially physically—but how is anyone supposed to figure out when it's love? Friends text as often as they do. Friends call each other almost daily. Friends meet up to eat good food, to watch good movies. Friends go to their friends' games to cheer them on. Even when Sugawara rearranges his schedule twice to see Kageyama play (the other crows, too, the former setter reminds himself as an afterthought), Sugawara can't see this as anything but friendship. Just because his side of things looks far more than friendly doesn't mean that anything will change between them—or should. Kageyama gets too rattled when something bothers him, like all those times when he and Hinata don't see eye to eye. And the last thing Sugawara would want to do is affect Kageyama's game.

So if hanging out together when they can—if that can just be enough, to hold Sugawara over, then he can put this love business to rest.

Under Captain Yamaguchi, Karasuno wins the Interhigh and comes in second behind a formidable Datekougyou in the Miyagi Spring High prelims. It's sad that there's no possibility of seeing Kageyama on the Spring High stage one last time, but Sugawara promises Kageyama that he'll be around as a practice partner since the kid has been scouted by several universities, and he really wants to help Kageyama succeed.

"So you don't think it's a bad idea, playing at the university level?" There's doubt in Kageyama's voice on the other end of the line.

Sugawara finishes writing down a note for a dumb history report due tomorrow afternoon before winter break. "No, of course not." He pauses, brow furrowed. "Why would you think that?"

"Well, you don't play anymore."

Ah. Right. The truth is, Sugawara got swept up in Kageyama and in his studies and just. If he's being completely honest, it's that it doesn't feel right to him to play with any team but his last one. He doesn't voice this to Kageyama, because he doesn't want Kageyama to think he has regrets or that Kageyama is to blame (yet again) for Sugawara not playing. "I don't, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't. You're great." For a heartbeat, the older male wonders if that might be misconstrued…but this is Kageyama he's talking to, and the seventeen-year-old has never been one to pick up on hidden meanings.

Kageyama's end is quiet briefly. "By the way, Suga-san, are you free on the Twenty-Third?"

"Hmm? Hold on." Sugawara swivels in his desk chair at home and glances at the wall calendar above his bureau. "Ah, yep. Totally free."

"Can we hang out that day? Break starts a little early this year, and Coach Ukai cleared us of practice."

Sugawara beams. "Sure thing. I'm yours, Kageyama." Oops. Another bad phrase. But, oh, what the hell? At least Sugawara means it.

There's delight evident in the third year's tone. "Great! I'll let you know where to meet when the time's closer. Later, Suga-san." As always, Kageyama hangs up first.

A tiny portion of Sugawara's heart sinks, knowing this is as far as they'll ever go. But the majority of his emotions are too elated to do anything but dance at the notion of having yet another chance to hang out with Kageyama in person.

* * *

The day begins wonderfully.

They meet at Karasuno's main gate because they live in opposite directions, and then they head for the train, enjoying the long walk there, mostly with Kageyama catching him up on end-of-the-year goings-on, since Hinata and Yachi are apparently inconsolable about the loss to Datekou.

Sugawara listens enthusiastically and catches Kageyama up as best he can on the senpai's whereabouts, since both Sawamura and Shimizu are wrapping their streamlined programs up early to head for advanced degrees (a part of Sugawara thinks he'll be lucky himself if he can just finish). But, during this, Sugawara wonders where the two setters are going and what Kageyama has planned, since he's completely in the dark.

They board a train for—surprise, surprise—Sendai, and Kageyama is adorably bashful as he explains it's not a visit for anything volleyball-related. Sugawara muffles his snickers as Kageyama elaborates that he's only ever really been to the city for tournaments and so has never really explored the place. But it's lovely, Sugawara thinks, that Kageyama wants to share this experience with him.

They view the castles from afar, pay tribute to the shrine since it's so close to the holidays anyway, visit the zoological park, and get pulled and pushed by the tide of visitors inside the aquarium. Sendai's so large, it's a wonder they get _that_ much done, and they grab a bite to eat on the go as they peruse the mall just for the chance to escape the cold for the umpteenth time that day.

Sugawara's so happy, he's _content_ , and everything—well, everything just feels _perfect_ like this, with Kageyama.

Kageyama tugs him along as they finish their third round of snacks (because who needs a real lunch anyway?), and he muses aloud about where to go next.

Sugawara wonders, too, and swings their clasped hands together—and he finally notices this is reality, it's _real_ , and it's not just a tug on his fingers but Kageyama's fingers wrapped around his _hand_ and—and—

He does absolutely nothing to change this whatsoever. This really is perfect, and it's so wonderful and cute and precious, and Sugawara thinks he might explode from happiness.

Instead, he just beams at Kageyama whenever the other male looks at him. Really, it's all Sugawara can do to keep from bursting with utter happiness, especially when Kageyama gives him a shy smile, too.

They end their day by retracing their steps. The train ride seems to stretch into forever, and even the walk from the station is enjoyable, though Sugawara knows it means the day's coming to a close.

He can't help it. He gives Kageyama's hand a little squeeze and leans just a bit against Kageyama's arm. Truly, it's been a wonderful day.

Kageyama clears his throat when they're several blocks from the school gate. "Suga-san…"

"Hmm?"

"Do you like me?"

In an instant, the smile evaporates from the older boy's face. Here they are, almost through December, and Sugawara's basically had ice water thrown on him, his happy warmth cooling almost to nonexistence as he attempts to stumble his way out of explaining. "Well— I— It's— You—" Shit. This would be easier to do if he didn't have his fingers lost between Kageyama's, so he tries to pull away.

But Kageyama holds fast to him, not painfully, with just enough force to keep Sugawara by his side. They step to the side of the road, and Kageyama looks so gentle and serious all at once and, _fuck_ , that's the scariest thing Sugawara could've ever imagined. "Suga-san, it's okay."

Sugawara refuses to look at him and turns his face to the right, to look at the ground, to see the asphalt, to find where asphalt ends and black ice begins because slipping and falling and smacking his head on the pavement just to forget this particular ordeal is a much finer option than letting this scenario finish playing out.

"Suga-san," the taller student says, a tad exasperatedly. He unceremoniously grabs Sugawara's cheeks and turns the other's head so that they're looking at each other, and he lets go only when Sugawara's rooted to the spot in that pose. "You like me," he answers for his own satisfaction.

Somewhere in the back of Sugawara's throat is a muffled squeak.

Kageyama closes his eyes and nods. "Yachi and Yamaguchi pointed it out to me, mostly because of the game visits, but. You liking me—I hope they're not wrong, because it turns out that I love you. A lot."

Tears start pricking the backs of Sugawara's eyes. _No_. What? For real?

The third year takes Sugawara's other hand, interlocking those fingers, too. He observes how their hands fit together. "I love you," he repeats. "Different from volleyball. Different from my friendship with Hinata and them. Different from how I love my family." He flicks his eyes back up to meet Sugawara's, and they're that intense blue again.

It's entirely possible that Sugawara might die right there on the spot. There's just— _so_ much to overwhelm him. Like. His feelings. Reciprocated. The chance for so much to happen between them—right or wrong. And the way Kageyama looks at him… _has_ looked at him, today, the past year, the past _years_.

While all this runs through Sugawara's mind, Kageyama smiles slightly and holds on to the other setter's hands a little tighter and leans down and kisses him.

It's not light, it's a genuine kiss, and it makes stars burst in Sugawara's vision as relief washes over him, and his bubbly happiness from earlier returns tenfold. He leans in to Kageyama and tilts his head up and stands on the balls of his feet because he's not that much shorter than Kageyama that he needs tiptoes. He pulls Kageyama's hands behind his back a little, and they're both so caught up in the moment that Sugawara is shocked by what presses against his leg, and, just like that, he could die again, but this time from embarrassment. Why? _Why_ does he have to react to the kiss like that?!

Kageyama is reluctant to break their kiss, but it has to end when Sugawara wants to duck his head bashfully. Kageyama looks between them and notes what else besides Sugawara's leg is touching the inside of his thigh. "Oh," he states.

"Gods, I'm _so sorry_ —" Sugawara starts.

"No, don't. It's fine. Here." He pecks Sugawara's forehead and then shrugs out of his jacket—it's the perfect fit for him, but it would swallow Sugawara whole. …oh.

"Thank you," the shorter setter mumbles, and they swap outers. That does the trick. At least this way, the party in Sugawara's pants will be kept hidden until he gets home.

Kageyama nods, but he takes Sugawara's hand again. "Come on. My house is closer."

"Really, Kageyama, I can just run home and shower—"

The seventeen-year-old (soon-to-be eighteen-year-old, Sugawara mentally corrects) appears to be deaf to Sugawara's protests, and, soon enough, they arrive at a small, single-floor house with the Kageyama family nameplate out front.

Kageyama kicks off his shoes and motions for Sugawara to do the same. They shed their jackets there, too, leaving them hanging on the hooks by the door. The whole time after, Kageyama holds on to at least one of the older boy's hands, and Sugawara realizes he can't escape.

They pause in the kitchen first, where Kageyama reads a note left by his parents. Sugawara ignores learning about this part of Kageyama's home because he's too busy trying to read over Kageyama's arm, and he gets the gist of things: Kageyama's parents are gone for now, out to grab food for dinner later, so they'll be back in a while.

Uh-oh. They're alone here. "Um, if I can just borrow your shower, K-Kageyama…" Shit. Why should he stutter _now_ , of all times?

"I'll show you to the bathroom," he agrees, and they back out of the kitchen. Kageyama leads him down the main hallway to the end, where two doors stand opposite each other. Both doors are open; the one on the left is a bedroom, the one on the right, the bathroom. A tiny peek clearly typifies the bedroom as Kageyama's.

"Mind if I borrow a change of clothes?" Sugawara murmurs, doing his best not to look at those eyes again. If he does…

Kageyama says nothing until Sugawara's looking at him, though. "Suga-san. It…" He sighs, and there's almost a laugh in his eyes. "It would be a problem if I had to clean this up in there," he says, and he pulls the older boy flush against his chest, emphasizing "this" with the barest of grazes from his leg.

Sugawara swallows his gasp and garbles an "mm-hmm" into Kageyama's shoulder as the teen backs into his room, closes the door, and starts kissing Sugawara again.

It's feverish. Not clumsy, and there's a distinct lack of bumping teeth. It's slightly sloppy because, hey, they're both new to this (Sugawara is; he kind of hopes Kageyama is, too, though how a total novice is _this_ good…damn), but that's not a deterrent for either of them. Kageyama keeps scooching backwards until the edge of his bed finds the backs of his legs and he collapses to a sitting position on the side, his hands no longer with Sugawara's but underneath the hem of Sugawara's sweater and tugging his shirt up, too, his fingers—all ten, and no longer just a single thumb—finding skin by either of Sugawara's hips, amongst other places.

Sugawara, on the other hand, has his arms around Kageyama's neck, and Kageyama swallows one of his moans every time he touches the skin near the waist of Sugawara's jeans. The sandy-haired man's barely got one knee on the bed between Kageyama's legs anymore; he's all but sitting on Kageyama's leg, wanting to grind against him but resisting because that _might_ be pushing the limits of looking respectable in his kouhai's eyes.

Although, does that really matter when said kouhai was the one to suggest this in the first place? And when something belonging to said kouhai starts pressing _back_ against Sugawara's erection?

Sugawara breaks their kiss and leans his forehead against Kageyama's, despite how it feels like the middle of summer in this room, with their body heat going up, up, _up_ with each passing minute. "Kageyama…," he warns. Fuck. His speech is so breathy, goddammit.

"Hold on," Kageyama tells him, and he presses a quick kiss to Sugawara's lips when the other whimpers as Kageyama scoots back a little more and puts Sugawara's legs on either side of him. Then he undoes buckles, buttons, zippers—anything barring their way is cleared, and Kageyama uncovers himself first. He nudges Sugawara's nose with his, a question clearly on his lips, but Sugawara presses against him, giving him all the permission he needs.

It's…an odd sensation, having someone else have a hold of him, Sugawara thinks. But it's a random thought, one that flies off the second he recalls that it's _Kageyama_ , and here they are, very close to revealing _all_ of themselves to one another. It's almost too hard to believe, so Sugawara drags his eyes from Kageyama's neck (oops, did he leave those bites there? He's too delirious to remember), and he pulls his gaze from the nice profile of Kageyama's chest to give down south a good look and commit this to memory.

So it's true. There they are, Kageyama's length in one hand, and Sugawara's in the other. The contrast is striking. Where Sugawara is so white, so pale from head to toe, even this bit of Kageyama is dark. The skin around his groin is lightly tanned like the rest of him, and his member is maybe slightly darker than even that. His size compared to Sugawara's, to the rest of him— Sugawara pulls his eyes back up to Kageyama's face, and the former setter is struck by the thought that Kageyama's _grown_ the past few years, and all of him looks… _so_ much more like an adult than Sugawara has yet to feel like.

His thoughts abandon him when movement adds to touch, and Sugawara continues to cling to Kageyama as the latter pumps them slowly. Kageyama thumbs the tips, and Sugawara jerks against him, his left arm sliding against the open collar of Kageyama's shirt. But, much as Sugawara loves the feel of Kageyama's bare chest and shoulder, he nearly slaps Kageyama's hand away from the darker length, and Kageyama jolts when Sugawara rubs his palm against him.

Sugawara goes back and forth between kissing Kageyama's neck and sucking on it (now that he's thought of love bites, he can't stop making them), and it's fun to try and match the rhythm Kageyama is using on him. He swallows a yelp when Kageyama's ministration hand works towards the hilt and fingertips start stroking and pushing at other bits, and Sugawara starts moving his hand faster than intended. He can't be sure who causes what—do his fast strokes make Kageyama climax, pushing Kageyama's finger against the right spot so Sugawara cums? Or is it vice versa, that one, two fingers reach the right spot on the underside, and the shock that runs through Sugawara's body as he becomes spent is the trigger for Kageyama's release?

Most of the emission is from Sugawara, who'd come into this fully pent-up, and they make a right mess of the hem of Kageyama's shirt. But Kageyama seems not to care as he kisses Sugawara again, mayhap as a small distraction as he uses part of the hem to wipe them up. He tucks them back into their respective underwear, but he doesn't do the pants up again.

"You should rinse it at least," he suggests against Sugawara's lips, and he kisses the older man's eyelids, too, for which Sugawara is grateful because his eyes feels so heavy now that all that energy has disappeared.

Kageyama's hands are on his hips again but only to help Sugawara get to his knees and then to his feet. Then he puts a hand at the small of Sugawara's back and ushers him to the bathroom. He ducks back to his room to shed the dirty shirt and to pass Sugawara a change of clothes, and he eyes the shorter male up and down before smiling ever so gently. He reaches for Sugawara's right cheek, rubs the pad of his thumb along Sugawara's cheekbone, and then kisses Sugawara's forehead once more before being a gentleman and pulling the bathroom door shut behind him.

It's… Well, it's like a dream. Like something out of any of the innumerable dreams Sugawara's had the past couple of years. Is it really real?

He holds Kageyama's sweatshirt up to his nose and inhales deeply. It's lightly minty and heavily Kageyama.

Yeah, it's real, all right.

Sugawara does as recommended and takes care of his nether region before drying and changing into the loaned clothes. When he returns to Kageyama's room, he can see Kageyama's changed clothes, too, and Sugawara spies a washcloth folded on the back of the wooden chair by his desk. But Sugawara's mind is a little far off to be curious about how quickly Kageyama set things right in his room. "I'm tired," he blurts, and he fights the yawn that follows.

"Then you should sleep," Kageyama says matter-of-factly. He sits back down on his bed and pats beside him.

Sugawara has but a moment to swoon at the invitation before exhaustion creeps back into his muscles. He scurries over, climbs on, and flops down, finding it in him to smile coyly when Kageyama blinks at him, maybe surprised for once.

But whether he's genuinely surprised or not, Kageyama doesn't say. He just leans back, too, reclining on his right arm so he can watch Sugawara.

Eventually someone falls asleep and the other follows suit, and it's a wonderful thing, being snuggled up like this, to catch a moment's respite.

* * *

A few hours later, it's that time between early to mid-evening, and someone knocks softly on Kageyama's door. "Tobio?" a feminine voice calls.

Sugawara's eyes struggle to open, but Kageyama's up so easily, as if he'd never fallen asleep and joined Sugawara in his nap. The older boy listens as the former cracks the door open. "Welcome home," Kageyama tells his mother.

A bag rustles, and the scent of fried chicken fills the air. "After everything we looked at, we settled for takeout," she says, and her voice has the same chuckle in it that Kageyama's has at times. "Are you hungry yet? Or do you want to go back to sleep?"

"I wasn't sleeping," Kageyama lies, and Sugawara has to stifle his laughter as he gingerly sits up on the bed and rolls his shoulders. "I have a friend over, though, and he needed a quick rest."

Yikes! Sugawara isn't expecting Kageyama to be so honest about the situation, and he feels his face grow hot as Kageyama opens the door some more and lets his mother see his guest.

"Oh, my," she says, daintily covering her mouth with her hand at her little gasp. It's a somewhat funny sight, since she's obviously the source of Kageyama's looks, right down to her soft, round eyes and the neatness of her pixie bob that looks like the feminine version of Kageyama's. But her smile comes more readily after her initial surprise, and she holds up the bag for Sugawara to see. "Well, would you care to join us?"

Sugawara glances at Kageyama, who's expressionless but whose reddening neck gives him away. So the older male beams. "Sure. Thank you."

Kageyama's mother backs away from the doorway then, and the two crows have a silent exchange with a lot of raised eyebrows and darting glances. Kageyama's not sure how this will play out, but Sugawara's more than willing to give it a shot, so they go up the hall and return to the kitchen.

A man who's no doubt Kageyama's father is grabbing plates and napkins when the two athletes present themselves. Kageyama's father does a double-take, and he gives Kageyama a look. "It would've been nice to know we had an extra mouth to feed, Tobio," he scolds his son.

Kageyama grumbles under his breath, embarrassed, and Sugawara smothers his delight at this entertaining exchange, especially since the father is all hard eyes where mother and son are soft. But his eyes—Kageyama has his eyes.

"Sugawara Koushi," Sugawara at last introduces himself now that he's in front of the two of them. "And that's my bad. We were out today for longer than intended, and I got tired. But, um, it's nice to meet Kageyama's parents."

The parents' eyes widen, and Kageyama's mother clearly has a million questions bubbling up in her. But Kageyama's father is the first to react. "Ah. I'm glad."

"Oh?" The sandy-haired setter's puzzled.

"We finally meet the mysterious 'Suga-san' Tobio never shuts up about."

Sugawara blinks, but he joins in their gently teasing laughter as Kageyama finally breaks and grouses at his parents for being embarrassing. But, honestly? Sugawara's more relieved than ever. Because this cements things better for him than the intimacy he and Kageyama shared earlier could've.

Because this means Sugawara's never been alone in these feelings, not really. And that means the world to him.

* * *

"So…how are things?"

This time, when asked, the words come from Sugawara himself, and they're aimed at Kageyama as the two sip hot chocolate at the table inside Sakanoshita Shop. Although, truth be told, it's hard for Sugawara to drink when he's trying not to laugh at the glares Kageyama's receiving from Ukai, who's stuck behind the counter on Valentine's Day.

Kageyama swipes at some chocolate on the corner of his mouth. "The recruiters? It turns out not all of them were from universities. Some were from pro teams."

"Wow…" Though it's not much of a surprise.

"Yeah. I'm thinking of auditioning for the pro teams, actually. Maybe instead of going to university." He shrugs. "My grades aren't university material, though I'll be graduating just fine."

Sugawara chuckles. "I take it this is what's bothering Ukai-san so much?"

Kageyama nods. "Takeda-sensei understands, and my parents are fine with it."

…it's so…weird, to think that Kageyama's got this future lined up for himself, figured out for himself. Sugawara once thought he was the one with the plan—but maybe that had been until Kageyama Tobio joined Karasuno. He doesn't know anymore what he'll be doing in the future, and he'll cross that bridge when he reaches it. But one thing's for certain. "Well, make sure you let me know whenever you've got practice games or auditions or some such so I can come watch."

The brilliant smile on Kageyama's face makes Sugawara's heart race, and Ukai gives up watching now that the two are so clearly off in their own little world. Kageyama even leans across the table, so his voice is low and meant to be heard only by Sugawara. "Suga-san. If I make it—onto a pro team—can I have a present?"

It's Valentine's Day and nearing two months since the start of their relationship, and suddenly all Sugawara can think about is that day in December at Kageyama's house, and the subsequent times after spent at his own home when his parents were out, and just last week when Sugawara rewarded Kageyama for completely reviewing his worst subjects with finals around the corner, and now Sugawara has to cross his legs and squirm in his seat at the memory of Kageyama's kisses, Kageyama's hand, and Kageyama's fingers that slid far too easily, two-three- _four_ far too easily into him and—

"Suga-san?" he prompts.

"It's complicated," Sugawara blurts, red-faced and with a nervous laugh that becomes genuine at the adorably disgruntled look on the eighteen-year-old's face. And, to an extent, he means it, because he loves Kageyama a _lot_ (although he hasn't _said_ that yet…but maybe that can be part of the present, too), but he just knows there are things he'll need to get done and mental preparation to do since he just knows he's going to need to prepare his body for what Kageyama likely has in mind.

And Kageyama? He doesn't mind Sugawara's response all _that_ much, because, in this regard, he's smart enough to know that things between them are as far from complicated as possible.

**Author's Note:**

> AAAAAAAAND there we have it. Jfc, this fic took me forever, but I owe a debt of gratitude to my friend for talking generic Kagesuga headcanons with me that gave me the motivation to finish this piece that should've? been done? like? almost a freaking year ago? AGH. Anywho. I like seeing Suga's transition from resentment to being awkward in love, and I just. Love Kags' innocence (and later lack thereof B3). These two mean a lot to me since they were actually my very 1stHQ! OTP and I'm. Forever in love with them. *happy sigh*Idek what I have to say about this anymore, because I think the story pretty much speaks for itself? But yeah. I like how Suga becomes unable to stay away, and Kageyama's actually a pretty good boyfriend and just. *dithers* END ME NOW. XD Also, RIP Ennoshita that one time. ;P
> 
> Thanks for reading, and please review! I drew the cover and some additional art for this oneshot, which you can find [here](http://le-amewzing.tumblr.com/post/135194437543/kagesuga-week-day-one-unrequited-love-or-being)and [here](http://le-amewzing.tumblr.com/post/135599891008/kagesuga-week-day-seven-any-prompt-another). Also, so that I play nice with FFN's rules, there's about 400 words of smut I edited out, but the explicit version is on both AO3 and tumblr. uwu
> 
> -mew-tsubaki -w-


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